My first memory is from when I was… probably less than 3 years old. I remember it like yesterday. Mom told me I was 1, but I refuse to believe that is possible.

I was at the doctor’s office, getting weighed as a child on this type of thing:

Next thing?

What is my second memory? I would say my biological dad beating my mom like a Pinata in our house. He later lost the house gambling and drinking, swell dude.

That whole day, when my mom decided to take me and run… I remember sleeping in a strange place on a way and I remember walking the bridge to Šintava (Slovakia). We were walking it on it to move back with my grandma.

Weirdly enough, It is impossible for me to tell you what memory was next. I do not have a photographic memory, and I am unable to remember sequences of numbers and letters.

There are stretches of years I don’t remember. I suspect those were simply too boring, I experienced no trauma and more importantly, I was probably happy-ish?

Not remembering makes me happy. The scary and way more powerful stimulus is trauma.

Trauma

Traumatic experiences are easier to remember because they make us scared and trigger problem solving response. Flight or fight? Why not just… observe? I believe people are scared of things they do not understand…. and now we are getting to that point of the loop, where I tell you, again, I have near-perfect memory.

Curious

I am curious and I like to think. My mental condition does not allow me to stop thinking anyway. Falling asleep is a huge problem for me that I can’t solve alone, so if you know some tips, please, email me those nuggets of gold. But I digress.

What do YOU remember the most?

I bet it is trauma as well. And of course happiness. Maybe the first time you saw boobs?

I might have superior memory to you, but it just means I remember more stuff. I am very bad at math, I was fired from all of my jobs and even with a university degree, I work for minimum wage in retail. My point is, the amount of information you can retain is kenough.

Work

Sounds fucking obvious, but work with your memories. Bubble sort them, mull it over. Ponder. Why is this memory making me feel like this or that? You can start with tiny questions about your life. Small fucking problems that are nagging you.

For me the nagging problem was a song that I liked, but it was also sexist. I solved the problem.

Example:

Are you working a dead-end job you hate?
Can you change that?
Yes, you can.

Next move to really big problems, like why there is a war right now on multiple continents, can’t we just stocks? Freudian slip, I meant can’t we just stop? The wars? Maybe the stocks as well, idk, I am bad with money.

Why are politicians not taking a minimum wage, who do they think they are? Do they do more? Could YOU do it better?

Think about others

I can't stress this enough. How you work with your memories is unique to you. Half of the humans talk to themselves in their head and have an inner monologue, the other half does not.

Think.

Both of these groups can’t conceptualize truly understand how the other group thinks. I think.

Become allocentric. It is both hard and easy. Hard in a way that it took me 36 years to realize it is the only way forward for me as a person and for humanity as a whole.

It was also incredibly easy once I realized all you have to do… is just be that person. But genuine. You have to care. I bet all my money you care about something or someone.

Is it hard for you to care about others? Don’t fret, most of us are like this. I was like that. I thought I am going to be a sad hater bitch forever.

Me me me, let’s talk about me

There were only 63 people ever diagnosed with Hyperthymesia. Jill Price, the most famous case, was described as exceptionally not allocentric. I understand Jill, trust me. Somehow, I am the complete opposite… and this is not to disparage you, I want to encourage you. Try it. I did and it is fucking amazing.

Let’s move on.

Minimum wage

Do you think politicians deserve minimum wage or a bit more?

Think about it.

The immediate thought is that it would be a great idea, isn’t it? That will teach them a lesson right?

Now imagine you are in their shoes. If you got into politics… would you cut your own paycheck? Likely no.

Would it be a good idea still to cut it? Still no, because politicians should be incorruptible (rofl). People like that don’t want to get into politics. Power-hungry and greedy do. How can we change that? Perhaps being a politician should require having transparent bank accounts. Or what about putting all the laws on GitHub, that way we know who to blame.

Call for programmers

Programers have the best predispositions to think in systems. I strongly suspect they have all their own little loops. You know what git blame is and you know it would help politics.

The solution is ready, apply filters, solve the issue. Help me.

I wrote this whole page in a couple of minutes, just freely associating memories and looking for solutions to problems I saw in the minimum wage for politicians.

I think you can do that shit too!

In fact, you might be way better at blogging than me and explain it better. Try it. The purpose of This website is to tell you how I do it. Reveal the secret.

I know how you think

No, I do not. One of the missing pieces I forgot to mention is that I also have associative synesthesia, it makes me feel a very strong and involuntary connection between the stimulus and the sense that it triggers.

Yes, I am a hypochondriac too!

Evidence

I am working on it, the first step is to get examined by my psychiatrist, because I have all the symptoms of psychosis. I have a feeling she will clear me… but in case she does not and I am actualy crazy, I get to involuntary meet my friends at a mental hospital again.

For now, I am happy with this page.

Brutal feedback

You can be brutally honest with me and tell me what you think does not make sense on this page. Send me links, please explain, and I will try to rewrite this page with your feedback in mind.

While I desperately crave validation, I do not expect to become overnight success.