This page might get soon deleted or heavily redacted because I want to use don.gl/e as an object of my presentation at WordCamp Vienna 2024.

Arguably, you are allowed to say fuck on the Internet. I never read The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck because I felt it would defeat the purpose.

Donglegate

I am not a programmer, I majored in advertising. Yet, my favourite social media site is Hacker News. A couple of days ago ±2023/12/30 I am reading about Indexing a billion pages.

Huh, a search engine. Am I not an SEO guy by trade?

What don.gl/e stands for

Humor. And some other things, too.

This article is mostly a freestyle rant. TLDR is that I swear because I work(!) in retail for over 3 years — I still smile at people every day. I value my freedom, I understand I am highly privileged because of where I was born and what is the color of my skin.

But trust me when I say, I have been through some tough shit.

My dongle

When I was starting this blog 3 weeks ago, I decided I would just let it rip 🏎️. Originally, the first blog post should have been published this time exactly one year ago.

Unfortunately, I overworked myself back then. Ended up in a mental hospital. It is a whole thing. story, for now, all you need to know is that I love in a country with socialized healthcare and I was taken care of. I have both a therapist and a psychiatrist, I do not pay a cent. If if feels like I am bragging it is because I am. Everyone deserves healthcare, everywhere. But I digress.

If you suffer from depression or burnout, or you just feel like your life is passing you by… or even worse, please read the best blog post I ever read in my entire life:

What the fuck is donglegate?

Honestly, I am dead-ass starting to believe in faith. I thought I thought of everything when I was buying this domain… in 2022! Yet I forgot to do the thing you are supposed to do.

I didn’t google myself.

That is right, I did not Google “Dongle” before buying don.gl. Live and learn. It gets worse! I work in SEO.

I plan to destroy the SEO industry and burn everything behind me. Honestly, I can’t get into it now, I am already telling 3 stories at the same time.

before I bought the domain. I was like a little kid and wanted it NOW. I do not regret it, it was just laying vacant for a year. I was contemplating letting it expire, but I decided I would try to hack it as a blogger in 2024.

At this very moment, this is my best piece of writing. It has everything:

1. List of controversial opinions on which HN won’t be able to have a civil discussion
2. Jokes! Can you spot all the dick jokes? It is more than 10.
3. Mistakes — I totally biffed the easiest thing on the planet a year ago — something as simple as buying a domain

First of all, I am a failing vegan. That means both vegans and bacon lovers do not accept me. My mom still loves me though, and that is enough. Love you moms, you are the real MVP for real^2.

I work full-time at a gas station, even though I have a master’s degree… in advertising. BTW I am very happy at that job, I earn minimum wage, but I have 15 days off every month, the job is extremely easy and I can work during that job, on all other jobs. Such as The SEO Framework.

Not to brag, but my commute takes 3 minutes of brisk walk. This gives me a basic income and allows me to be entrepreneurial. I get to meet people who own multimillion-dollar companies, but also seniors who just need enough gas to get groceries.

I smile at my job and during my commute every single fucking day. How was your day?

If it was better, congratulations, you are living the life.

If it was worse for you, maybe stop giving a fuck about what others think about your resume and do whatever you please. I am free and I absolutely love people who commute for 2 hours every day and tell me it is worth triple the pay.

And you know what? I would not shit on them. They deserve the pay. I would never in my life work in a corporate environment ever again. I might… if this blogging thing doesn’t pan out.

But I will do whatever it takes to avoid corporate.

Various sources say that:

the Czech Republic is 18th on the World Happiness Index.

Why do you think I am not afraid to write this?

There is absolutely nothing that could happen to me. If push comes to shove, I can get a job at an agency. We are also making more and more money with The SEO Framework.

Many esteemed STEM graduates love to point out how useless is my type. I do not want to point fingers, but notice how often anyone who does marketing, social media, SEO or content writing is considered a dimwit. Not always.

But we can safely agree that there is a bit of elitism going at HN. Sometimes. No fingers pointed.

People who work in marketing know that this is all fugazi nonsense. Just like you know many jobs you did were complete nonsense.

Correct me if I am wrong, but what exactly brought Uber or Airbnb in terms of innovation? Did they help people? Or did they try to undercut the competition, choke them to death and then raise the prices?

What the fuck can I do about it?

Anyway.

I still believe stuff like Airbnb, Uber or any other gig-economy-style can change the world if the right people are in charge. Engineers, dreamers and helpers.

I live in my mom’s basement, I recycle paper, tin and plastic, and I feel guilty about driving a car pointlessly… even though I love it.

I have bad teeth that hurt every day. This has nothing to do with anything, it just does not help being in constant pain. Now I understand Dr. House and his portrayal of addiction.

My point is, that I have been through a lot. I do not discount your experiences.

The donglegate is plain funny

I will be honest… I do SEO for a living… and I haven’t googled “dongle” before buying the domain don.gl/e. Pretty outstanding job, if you ask me.

BTW, don.gl/e is the ultimate shiny extraordinary rare endgame domain, because I though of everything.

1. It is a scientifically inherently funny word
2. It is a dick joke, if you read the wiki link above, you will learn that: “The funniest nonsense words tended to be those that reminded people of real words that are considered rude or offensive.^[13][14] This category included four of the top-six nonsense words that were rated the funniest in the experiment: “whong”, “dongl”, “shart” (now slang, not a nonsense word^[15])” Therefore, dick jokes are sciense.
3. I am using ordered list wrong, but what I am trying to convey, is that humans like dick jokes.
4. Go ahead, try to erase the don.g/e from your head
5. I am precisely like an apple dongle accessory — I am only useful in very obscure situations that happen, like, twice a year. At best. I work in marketing… just like that piece of shit apple dongle, nobody really likes working with me.
6. This freeform writing style is fun, you should try it!
10. And I have a degree so I am needlessly expensive for no reason as well. Luckily, I work full-time at a gas station, but that is really story for another time, I digress.

Fuck my life

So there I am, looking at the SERP of https://mwmbl.org/?q=dongle and the second result… Donglegate.

When I came up with the domain for this website, don.gl/e…
I genuinelly thought that don.gl was the perfect domain. I thought of everything:

1. It is short (just like my dong)
2. Memorable
3. Hackernews-like (Ma.tt, siev.rs… etc)
   
   https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=38744224

I do not read productivity books. Arguably, because I am one right under your nose myself. That is right, this blog is a ploy to grift donations out of you.

But that is a story for another time.

thought I already gave 0 fucks. Turns out, I still have plenty of fucks to give.

Before I continue my essay on swearing, I would like you to know that I was never as confident a

allow me to introduce you to the best Valorant player on the planet . There is a person, alive, on this planet, who put is so succinctly, I just have

Yet I try to avoid profanities now that I turned 30 around 7 years ago. I swear in my head all the time and it is pathetic. It is making me a worse writer and not a pleasant person to be around.

That is why 2024 me is trying not to be that person.

Of course except for having a page dedicated to the word FUCK on a website called don.gl/e coming from a guy with an email huge@don.gl

The domain name serves as a perpetual mnemonic device for me, hanging over my head and reminding me every single day:

Dick jokes are exactly like actual dicks — they can be fun in the right company at the right time, but otherwise, you should keep it in your pants.

Huge Donglover

Fuck off

That being said… and I love this part… there are things on this planet that can straight up fuck off. If you hate one of the things listed below, hit me up. 2 angry passionate people can cook a nice bowl of whoop ass.

I have a lot of free time and a lot of motivation.

Things that can fuck. right. off:

1. Oil
2. Narcissists — people who show complete disregard for other humans and only see themselves.
3. Oil
4. Eating animals
5. Shitting on your mom’s holiday decor
6. NYE, these last two are pretty season-specific
7. Greg

This list will be WIP forever.

If you like my writing, or if you have notes or words of encouragement, please, let’s get in touch!

☘️

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