Dong Lover

The official page of Dong Lover, Ph.D.

My legal name is long and hard, but isn’t.
Dong Lover, PhD. is a persona I specifically made for this blog. He is an average European guy, with average education and average looks.

Who is Mr. Dong Lover?

One would think I must love dongs since I whip up dick jokes constantly. I’m simply hard at work — and I felt my domain should be short and hard to forget, just like me. Plus, there is actual science behind the dong lover. Let’s head right in.

That’s a tweet by Donald Glover before he was famous. Amazingly, nobody teased him about his username, @donglover. He talked about loving dongs on Jimmy Fallon and I found everything about it hilarious… and more importantly memorable enough, but I get to that later.

Donald is a sensible adult now, using @DonaldGlover.
Yet the dude is still hogging the username 😑
Man pass it to me, and I will take good care of it.
I mean it is Twitter, so I won’t use it anyway.
But still… some people like being known as Dong Lover.

Jokes aside

Scientifically, dongle is an inherently funny word. These are rare and memorable, 2 qualities you want in a domain.

Most people use as their internet home address. While that is certainly professional, everyone will forget it instantly. If you want a spot in people’s brains, you have to pump the gas a little.

Dongl has presence, volume, shape, tone and it is just ergonomic.

True giants have the shortest pp domain names.
Like,, will.Iam or

≁Dong Lover

Life is way too short to pretend you like filling out spreadsheets for 30 years, but we have to do it for a paycheck. On the other hand, you choose your boring URL.

Congratulations, the proud owner of The first website I made 10 years ago was like that and I know a great many people who did the same and never wrote more than 2 posts in their life afterwards.

Don’t be that person. Buy a domain with πŸ”s. Have fun with it, put it in your mouth, whatever makes you write.

Make blogging fun again

For me, it was a $4000 worth of therapy sessions to figure out that I hate my name not only because it is stupid, but also because I hate my biological dad even more.

Some keywords for Google

This is the official website of Dong Lover, aka This will get real weird real fast πŸ’―

I also use this page for Mastodon verification. It is an SEO thing. Don’t ask. Do not read the stuff below. It’s important, but not for you.

I want this page to rank first on Google for the term “dong lover”. How would one define a typical Dong Lover? Well, as an established expert on dongs with 35 years of hands-on experience, I can share my knowledge with you folks.

A dong lover (any) has the following characteristics:

  • likes dongs and dangs, obviously and unconditionally
  • doesn’t shame others about their dong preferences
  • loves animals, not like that you pig, like not eating them
  • hates billionaires, Bill promised to give away his billions a decade ago, where is the money, Bill? The charity you own is not giving away wealth and you were friends with Epstein.
  • Billionaires emit a million times more greenhouse gases than the average person, never forget.
  • Loves his mom

We can summarize the dong lover as a person who minds his own business, avoids conflict, and enjoys being alone but also has a mental breakdown a couple of times a year because they don’t go anywhere.

Let’s watch a dong video tutorial

I consider myself an authority on dong loving. Here is a video, that has related information that will help you on your quest to become a huge dong lover.

Of course, that is some keyword stuffing going on here, don’t take life too seriously man.

Need a cool domain for you or your project? Get in touch. After all, I am the biggest dong lover in the SEO community.

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